Two True Freaks!

An Internet Radio Show covering all of nerdworld!! We have Star Trek, Star Wars, Anime, comic book and movie shows, even a show about giant monsters. All done with humor and production value in mind!

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Episodes

Posted: Wednesday April 26, 2017

Four hosts - THEM JACONETTI BOYS (LUKE & JASON) and CONJOINED CHRIS (TYLER & HONEYWELL) dive into the FOURTH installment of A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET - THE DREAM MASTER! Freddy is back to dispense with a mostly likeable crew of UNFORTUNATES! Learn the new meaning of "PIZZA FACE"! SEE Jason the dog PISS FIRE! THRILL to reader mail! DANCE to the dulcet tones of THE FAT BOYS - AND MORE - There's ALWAYS more!

Feedback for this show can be sent to: freakvault@gmail.com

Two True Freaks! is a proud member of BOTH the Comics Podcast Network (http://www.comicspodcasts.com/) and the League of Comic Book Podcasts (http://www.comicbooknoise.com/league/)!!

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Posted: Tuesday March 28, 2017

Join the Vault crew - LUKE & JASON JACONETTI and CHRIS TYLER AND HONEYWELL for their THIRD HAMMER HORROR FILM - 1959's THE MUMMY! The gang is back together and BITCHES ARE GOING TO GET STRANGLED! SEE - The world's most DEDICATED STALKER! HEAR - The cries of a man with NO TONGUE! MARVEL - at some of the screens greatest FEZ-WORK! SCREW CLEOPATRA! THIS is how you do a HISTORICAL EGYPTIAN EPIC - with a LIMITED BUDGET!RECORDED IN THE GLORIOUS GORY-RED DIMANZICOLOR© PROCESS!!!

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Posted: Saturday February 25, 2017

In yet ANOTHER TANGENT, The VAULT CREW decide to MESS UP THE FORMAT and review the new Star Wars film! Join Them Jaconetti Boys (Luke & Jason) and BOTH CHRIS' (Tyler & Honeywell) as they CRY OVER ROBOTS, talk about RAMBO and Art Rambo's Used Cars, test the movie on the "older generation" and generally show you how a bunch of horror fans GEEK OUT to Star Wars. Plus, hey, we ARE also covering Hammer horror movies and this one has got Peter Cushing in it, so it's not REALLY off topic! Also, it's EPISODE 66 - as in ORDER 66! SEE?

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Posted: Wednesday January 25, 2017

Freddy's BACK for a third go and THEM JACONETTI BOYS (Luke and Jason) and THE TWO-HEADED CHRIS (Tyler and Honeywell) are there to HELP YOU THROUGH IT! This one is a BIG STEP UP despite the inclusion of POOR MAN'S BILL MAHER! Pretty much EVERYONE but Jason sings at some point. Chris Tyler WORSHIPS THE FREDDY SNAKE. DOKKEN happens twice. Remember when they told you not to sit too close to the TV because you would ruin your eyes? This is the movie that shows you WHY. Find out hpow the FRANCHISE ENDER ended up being just the beginning!

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Posted: Thursday December 22, 2016

HAPPY GHOULETIDE WISHES from the VAULT CREW - Them Jaconetti Boys (Luke and Jason) and Christmas Tyler and Honeywell! In a special HOLIDAY THEMED EPISODE they bring you 2015's KRAMPUS, a nasty little Yuletide LUMP OF COAL for people who like their X-Mas movies with a HAPPY ENDING! NO HAPPY ENDING FOR YOU! IT'S A NOT-SO-WONDERFUL AFTERLIFE!!!!!

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Posted: Saturday November 26, 2016

Join your hapless hosts THEM JACONETTI BOYS (LUKE & JASON) and CHRIS TYLER and HONEYWELL for a FANGTACULAR FLUME RIDE - Hammer's THE HORROR OF DRACULA! The boys PUT THE HAMMER DOWN on this classic of low-budget, fast movin' gothic horror! And hey, where else do you get to see Grand Moff Tarkin VS Count Dooku?

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Posted: Friday October 21, 2016

It's a TRICK OR TREAT TRIPLE FEATURE! Join THEM JACONETTI BOYS (Luke and Jason) and CONJOINED CHRIS'S (Tyler and Honeywell) for their BLOW-OUT 2016 HALLOWEEN SPECIAL! This time we have a Disney short, an 80's heavy metal back-masking nightmare and an honest to Satan horror anthology - ALL WITH THE SAME (more or less) NAME! IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR! Spend a dreary evening with the VAULT CREW!

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Posted: Monday September 19, 2016

Join Them Jaconetti Boys, Luke and Jason and Chris Tyler and Honeywell for the first sequel to A Nightmare On Elm Street - FREDDY'S REVENGE. This movie seems to be a little CONFUSED as to what direction it wants to take, but it still holds a CLOSETFULL of scares! Join them as the movie's hero faces many questions and challenges! Why is the coach making us do pushups in our underwear? Why is my Dad from a comedy movie? Why do I feel to urge to ROCK OUT and clean my room via montage? Why do I like my girlfriend, but LOVE her sweater?

Show me on the doll which part of you Freddy came out of. Yes, it's one of THOSE shows.

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Posted: Saturday August 20, 2016

Join your intrepid hosts Luke and Jason Jaconetti and Chris Tyler and Honeywell with SPECIAL GUEST Scott Gardner - as they kick off a new series of HAMMER HORROR MOVIES with the one that started it all - THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN! Here it is in all it's BRIGHT RED BLOOD - DELICIOUS MARMELADE - ACID BATHS - COUSIN MARRYING - MAID BOINKING - EYE SHOOTING - BRAIN DROPPING - CORPSE HANGING - PUPPY REVIVING GLORY!

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Posted: Wednesday July 13, 2016

Sit back, relax, but DON'T FALL ASLEEP! Join Luke and Jason Jaconetti and Chris Tyler and Honeywell as they jump right into the NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET franchise with the original WES CRAVEN CLASSIC! Depp gets THE MOP, soft, 80's LIBRARIAN SWEATERS are worn, Jason's daughter HALEY sings a little tune, we see OFF-BRAND Sean Connery, Freddy plays it STRAIGHT (until part 2) and the DNA of SCREAM is sprayed liberally across the screen!

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Posted: Tuesday May 24, 2016

Join the VAULT CREW - LUKE & JASON (THEM JACONETTI BOYS) and CHRIS TYLER AND HONEYWELL as they eventually take a look at Marvel Comic's THE TOMB OF DRACULA #2! The boys talk WAY too long about PRAIRIE OYSTERS and answer some mail from TEXAS TIM ELLIOT. THEN - Dracula's casket is missing - and BOY IS HE PISSED! Dracula hits MERRY OL' ENGLAND and hits a couple BAR-GOERS for good measure! Forget about stupid WEREWOLVES OF LONDON, there's more than a little old lady getting mutilated in this one! BONUS - EX GIRLFRIEND STAKING!It's a regular LAFF-RIOT!

Feedback for this show can be sent to: freakvault@gmail.com

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Posted: Wednesday April 27, 2016

Join Luke and Jason (Them Jaconetti Boys!) Jaconetti and Chris Tyler and Honeywell for a tribute to the recently deceased horror master - WES CRAVEN! Covered in this episode is SCREAM - the 90's classic that launched, for better or worse, a wave of meta horror movies. How can you go wrong with a movie about a high school full of SOCIOPATHS with THE FONZ as it's principal getting ravaged by a horror trivia spouting MASKED MADMAN? Short answer - you pretty much can't until the sequels! Tune in, turn on and DROP DEAD!

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Posted: Wednesday March 30, 2016

In the final episode of FREAK'S CHOICE, your hosts Them Jaconetti boys (Luke and Jason) and Chris Tyler and Honeywell look at Clive Barker's NIGHTBREED, the choice of our fallen friend and Two True Freaks compatriot, SHAWN ENGEL. There will be TEARS, LAUGHS, MOON-FACED MUTANTS, PORN TALK and SO MUCH MORE!

Shawn - we miss you and love you and you will always be in our hearts and minds on this show.

Feedback for this show can be sent to: freakvault@gmail.com

Two True Freaks! is a proud member of BOTH the Comics Podcast Network (http://www.comicspodcasts.com/) and the League of Comic Book Podcasts (http://www.comicbooknoise.com/league/)!!

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Posted: Monday February 1, 2016

In this episode, the fourth in the five-part FREAK'S CHOICE, we join Shawn Engel, Chris Honeywell, Luke Jaconetti,Chris Tyler and Jason Jaconetti for a look at George Romero's MARTIN! It's a teenage (maybe) vampire story from the man so famous for FLESH EATING ZOMBIES! It's 70's grit, unusual location and actors and slow pace make this a prime choice for Chris. Is Martin an 80 year old vampire stuck in an ageless body or just simply a teenager with some issues that need tissues? A LOT of tissues. Enough tissues to soak up several quarts of RED, RED BLOOD!

Feedback for this show can be sent to: freakvault@gmail.com

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Posted: Friday December 18, 2015

Paul Spataro, Bill Robinson, Scott Gardner, Alan Middleton, Chris Tyler, Luke Jaconetti and Gene Hendricks spend a few minutes with you sharing there thoughts about the loss of a great person. We've lost Shawn Engel, who has been a good friend to all of us.

http://www.smithandkernke.com/obituary/Shawn-Engel/Edmond-OK/1571833

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Posted: Tuesday November 24, 2015

Join Chris Honeywell, Chris Tyler, Shawn Engel, Luke Jaconetti and Jason Jaconetti as they watch Jason's pick for this month's FREAK'S CHOICE - THE MONSTER SQUAD! We get UNIVERSAL MONSTERS, KIDS WITH LETHAL WEAPON DIALOGUE, BATS ON STRINGS, SCARY GERMAN GUY, and WOLFMAN'S NARDS! It's HEATWARMING, SCARY, CHEESY and POLITICALLY INCORRECT all at the same time! How can you go wrong?

Feedback for this show can be sent to: freakvault@gmail.com

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Posted: Tuesday October 27, 2015

Join Chris Tyler and Honeywell and them Jaconetti boys Luke and Jason as the pitch a tent and start a fire out back of the Vault Of Startling Monster Horror Tales Of Terror Mansion and Tourist Museum for a special BONUS SIZED HALLOWEEN SPECIAL! They discuss all the scary stuff that usually comes up when four guys sit alone in the dark, huddled against the cold. The Exorcist, rafting accidents, Shriek Of The Mutilated, giant ants, watching gory movies and reading gorybooks at impossibly young ages, Charlie McCarthy, you know, THE USUAL SHIT!So grab your MARSHMELONS, throw on your thermals and PULL UP A STUMP!

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Posted: Tuesday September 29, 2015

The VAULT CREW are CAMPING AGAIN! Join Chris Tyler, Shawn Engel, Jason and Luke Jaconetti and Chris Honeywell as they watch Hero's FREAK'S CHOICE- THE BURNING! See the Weinsteins before they were classy and Costanza before Seinfeld! Great effects by Tom Savini and a cheesy score by prog rock synth fiddler RICK WAKEMAN rounds out the experience!

Feedback for this show can be sent to: freakvault@gmail.com

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Posted: Wednesday September 2, 2015

GET YER POUND OF NEW FLESH!Join Chris Tyler, Shawn Engel, Luke and Jason Jaconetti and Chris Tyler and Honeywell as they sit back with a big tub of FLESHY POPCORN and dig in to David Cronenberg's VIDEODROME as part one of a five episode series called FREAK'S CHOICE! This month's selection is from Luke and in this episode you will find out - IS DEBBIE HAIRY? WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CATCH A CANCER BULLET? DOES TV ROT YOUR BRAIN? ALL THIS AND MORE!

Feedback for this show can be sent to: freakvault@gmail.com

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Posted: Tuesday August 4, 2015

The crew has assembled - Chris Tyler - Shawn Engel - Chris Honeywell and THEM JACONETTI BOYS - Luke and Jason! They have already finished off the Friday The 13th franchise (for now) and now prepare to do the same (for now) with PHANTASM IV - OBLIVION! Somehow, along with the requisit BOOBS AND BALLS, we inexplicably get some Smashmouth and ROCK STARS VS LASER POINTERS (Copyright 2015 VOSMHTOT)! Don't miss the end where you can find out WHAT HORRORS AWAIT!!!!

Feedback for this show can be sent to: freakvault@gmail.com

Two True Freaks! is a proud member of BOTH the Comics Podcast Network (http://www.comicspodcasts.com/) and the League of Comic Book Podcasts (http://www.comicbooknoise.com/league/)!!

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Posted: Wednesday July 1, 2015

Join Chris Honeywell, Shawn Engel, Luke Jaconetti and Chris Tyler as they officially welcome DOUBLE J Jaconetti aboard! In his first official episode, the crew saddles him with a MICHAEL BAY produced REBOOT! OH CRUEL HORROR HOSTS! Does this film live up to it's CRUEL DNA? Will there be enough BLOOD to satisfy their thirst? Are the rumors true that it was originally titled - "JASON- BARK OF THE MOON"? How does this film tie into RAMBO? How does the discussion lead to THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT? Well, you could just sit around asking GOOFY QUESTIONS, or you could just LISTEN TO THE DAMN THING!

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Posted: Wednesday May 20, 2015

Salutations, fear freaks, and welcome to a very special episode of TVoSMHToT. And why is this episode so special? Well for multiple reasons...First, the crew of CHRIS HONEYWELL, LUKE JACONETTI, SHAWN ENGEL, and CHRIS TYLER are joined by new co-host and big brother to one of our hosts, JASON JACONETTI (we'll let you figure out who he's related to). Secondly, rather than covering a horror movie, we're covering a horror COMIC...perhaps one of the greatest ones with the first issue of Marvel's TOMB OF DRACULA, written by the incomparable Gerry Conway and drawn by Gene "The Dean" Colan! But most importantly is this show is a part of a multi-media event, cleverly titled Conway's Corner Crossover, where a slew of awesome podcasts and blogs are taking some time to cover the works and creations of Mr. Conway and discuss his recent dealings with DC Entertainment over the matter of creator compensation. So after you're finished listening to our show, be sure to go check out these excellent podcasts and blogs:

Michael Bradley's Superman and Batman Podcast

Rob and Shag's Fire and Water Podcast

Ryan Daly's Flowers and Fishnets Podcast

Chris Ivey's From Kid to Flash Podcast

Gene Hendrick's The Hammer Strikes Podcast

Chris and Cindy Franklin's Super Mates Podcast

Professor Alan's Quarter -Bin Podcast

Karen Williams Between the Pages Blog

Ben Avery's Comic Book Time Machine

Aaron Moss' Head Speaks and Task Force X Podcast

Chad Bokelman and Mark Marble's The Lanterncast

Tom Panarese's Pop Culture Affidavit

Paul Spataro and crew's Back to the Bins

Andy and Micheal Leyland's Hey Kids, Comics!

Bob Fisher's Superman Forever Radio

and many more...Please check all of these great shows out, and celebrate the amazing work that Gerry Conway has given to the comics world! And follow us on the social media at #ConwayXover

Feedback for this show can be sent to: freakvault@gmail.com

Two True Freaks! is a proud member of BOTH the Comics Podcast Network (http://www.comicspodcasts.com/) and the League of Comic Book Podcasts (http://www.comicbooknoise.com/league/)!!

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Posted: Tuesday April 28, 2015

LUKE JACONETTI, THE HAIR METAL HERO, SHAWN ENGEL AND CHRIS HONEYWELL are BACK with the THIRD installment of PHANTASM - PHANTASM 3 (of course) !In this one we get ORIGINAL JODI AND MIKE in addition to the RETURN OF REGGIE! Learn of Chris' TWISTED PLAN to stalk the actress who plays ROCKY - hear the crew rejoice at the addition of a MURDERING, DRIVING KID - thrill to a HORRIFYING DIGRESSION into 50 SHADES OF GREY and save your SPARE HAIR to donate to Chris' CLIP-ON PONY-TAIL! IT'S HEARSE FLIPPIN' GOOD!

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Two True Freaks! is a proud member of BOTH the Comics Podcast Network (http://www.comicspodcasts.com/) and the League of Comic Book Podcasts (http://www.comicbooknoise.com/league/)!!

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Posted: Saturday March 28, 2015

Luke Jaconetti, Shawn Engel, Chris Tyler and Chris Honeywell have followed Jason Voorhees from Crystal Lake to New York City, to Hell and now they suit up and head in to the most logical place to catch up with our hero, IN THE FUTURE - IN DEEP SPACE. That's right, the franchise is back in it's SPACE-GROOVE with ASTRO-GUTTINGS, TEENAGE STAR-SEX, COSMIC CRANIUM CRACKING, A BFG , SPACE MARINES and ROBOT BOOBS! Is that not enough for you? Then why not toss in one DEAD DAVID CRONENBERG? Oh, yeah and then there's NANO-JASON! You SUCK on SO MANY LEVELS if you miss this one!

Feedback for this show can be sent to: freakvault@gmail.com

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Posted: Wednesday March 4, 2015

Join Luke Jaconetti, Shawn Engel, Chris Tyler and Chris Honeywell as they WELCOME BACK THE BALLS! It's PHANTASM II! Regggie is back - Mike is (sorta) back and the Tall Man is PISSED!We get some new wrinkles and new characters and ENOUGH BALL JOKES TO FILL A PAIR OF SIZE 500 SPEEDOS!IT'S NOT OVER!!!!!!!!

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Posted: Wednesday January 28, 2015

What is a Friday The 13th movie when it's not a Friday The 13th movie? What about if the actual "Jason Vorhees" is some sort of DEMON-SLUG? What happens when a movie has GOES TO HELL in the title and we don't see A SINGLE SECOND of Beelzebub's domain? These are the questions that Luke Jaconetti, The Hair Metal Hero, Shawn Engel and Chris Honeywell ponder in this episode! Also - SWAG is recieved and viewer mail is FINALLY answered!

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Posted: Friday December 26, 2014

This month join Chris Honeywell, Chris Tyler, Luke Jaconetti and Shawn Engel for a perennial favorite - Don Coscarelli's PHANTASM! This legendary psychedelic horror/science fiction/whatever film introduces us to the BRAIN SUCKING FLYING BALL, THE MAGNIFICENT ANGUS SCRIMM. KIDS WITH GUNS and YELLOW BLOODED INTERDIMENSIONAL CORPSE JAWAS! Chill up some embalming fluid, put up your feet and relax, it's time to visit MORNINGSIDE CEMETARY!

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Posted: Wednesday November 12, 2014

New York City, where the sewers flow with toxic waste and cruise boats from Crystal Lake routinely deliver graduating classes of High Schoolers! At least that's how it goes in the world of Friday The 13th Part VIII - Jason Takes Manhattan! Join Shawn Engal, Luke Jaconetti, Chris Tyler and Chris Honeywell watch the Friday the 13th movies turn into a DOUBLE QUADRILOGY! BONUS - The total Jason death count finally breaks TRIPLE DIGITS!

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Posted: Monday October 27, 2014

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN! Join Luke Jaconetti, Shawn Engel, The Hair Metal Hero and Chris Honeywell as they present their ANNUAL HALLOWEEN HORROR STORIES! This time it's FOUR ORIGINAL STORIES - all different - but with the same title! The title was picked from suggestions on the Two True Freaks Facebook Page! Who wrote the title and WHAT IS IT? You have to LISTEN to FIND OUT!NOT FOR THE KIDDIES!

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Posted: Wednesday September 17, 2014

Join Luke Jaconetti, Shawn Engel, Chris Tyler and Chris Honeywell as they wrap up their journey into Italian horror with the infamous CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST! This legendary gut muncher saw the director in court to prove his actors were alive and spawned endless "found footage" movies! WARNING - Before you watch this movie - know that this is one of the most CAN'T UNSEE movies you'll ever run into. Have a shower ready.

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Posted: Tuesday August 12, 2014

Join your HORROR HOSTS - SHAWN ENGEL, LUKE JACONETTI, CHRIS TYLER and CHRIS HONEYWELL as they get some TELEKINETIC THRILLS from FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VII - THE NEW BLOOD! SEE - cut rate ROBERT VAUGHN - poor man's JIM CARREY, Dr. JOYCE BROTHERS as MOM and THE SWINGIN' SLEEPING BAG! It is a CONFLUENCE of LUCKY snd UNLUCKY numbers that can only happen ONCE! TUNE IN NOW!!!!!

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Posted: Wednesday June 25, 2014

Join Luke Jaconetti, Shawn Engel, Chris Tyler and Chris Honeywell as they watch a tale told by a DEAD MAN - Aldo Lada's SHORT NIGHT OF GLASS DOLLS! In this Italian oddity we've got Mrs. Ringo, Wolfman Jack, an EPIC MUSTACHE and SATANIC NAKED SENIOR CITIZENS - all with music by Ennio Morriconne! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

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Posted: Wednesday May 7, 2014

JASON LIVES! Join El Jacone, The Chriskeeper, The Hair Metal Hero and Joe Freakin' Anthrax as they celebrate the return of the REAL DEAL! Find out why this one is HERO'S FAVORITE! Is it the "80's VIBE"? Is it the "FOLDING COP"? Is it because ALICE COOPER gets a song in the soundtrack? Why don't you stop asking questions and just LISTEN ALREADY!

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Posted: Monday March 24, 2014

This episode is brought to you by listener TIM ELLIOT! Join El Jacone, Joe Anthrax, The Hair Metal Hero and The Chriskeeper as they view one of Lucio Fulci's weirdest and goriest films - THE BEYOND! This one is a head scratcher - scratch that - a HEAD-MELTER! What happens when JOE THE PLUMBER finds a DOORWAY TO HELL? We ACTUALLY FIND OUT! Like SIDERS? NO? AWESOME! ATTACK, DICKIE, ATTACK!!!!If you notice that this episode ends a little abruptly, that is due to UNAVOIDABLE TECHNICAL GLITCHES and the next film is Aldo Lado's SHORT NIGHT OF GLASS DOLLS!

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Posted: Monday February 3, 2014

Horror Vault regulars Luke Jaconetti, Chris Tyler, Shawn Engel and Chris Honeywell are joined by PODCASTING LEGEND Michael Bailey to tackle his FAVORITE JASON MOVIE - Friday The 13th V - A NEW BEGINNING! It's all here - Jason fan fiction - gratuitous Muppet Show Music and a quick game of JASON TETRIS! Also - Is it plausable that Corey Feldman grows up to be Thomas Dolby on steroids? Find out this and SO MUCH MORE!

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Posted: Tuesday December 17, 2013

Join the intrepid horror crew EL JACONE, JOE ANTHRAX, THE HAIR METAL HERO and THE CHRISKEEPER as they EYEBALL Fulci's ZOMBI 2 (Zombi Flesh Eaters)! Many say that this movie is where Fulci JUMPED THE SHARK, but that is unfair - he actually WRESTLED THE SHARK TO DEATH with this film. Also - Tisa Farrow proves acting is not genetic! Also - GRATUITOUS CHRISTOPHER CROSS! Do you DARE IGNORE this podcast?

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Posted: Friday November 29, 2013

Join your intrepid Jasophiles - El Jacone, The Hair Metal Hero, Joe Anthrax and the Chriskeeper as they watch the (supposedly) ULTIMATE CHAPTER of Friday The 13th - PART 4 _ THE FINAL CHAPTER! Is anything scarier than a slasher film with Corey Feldman and Crispin Glover? The answer is YES - but we're going to watch the movie ANYWAY! Also - stick around until the end if you want to hear something TRULY SCARY!

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Posted: Tuesday October 29, 2013

It's that most wonderful time of the year again! The FOUR FUCKED-UP FREAKS fron The Vault have brought you ANOTHER 4 tales of terror JUST IN TIME for Halloween once again! This year, The Chriskeeper reads his new CHILDREN'S BOOK - "SMILEY", Luke Jaconetti digs up a classic with Poe's "THE MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH". Chris Tyler brings another original bizarre masterpiece - "RAIN" and Shawn Engel brings it all to a DARK, GLOOM-SOAKED END with H.P. Lovecraft's "DAGON". Dagon it, you're going to have a great time! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

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Posted: Sunday September 29, 2013

This time - join El Jacone, Joe Anthrax, The Hair Metal Hero and The Chriskeeper as they forge forward in their Italio-Horror series with Dario Argento's TENEBRE! Lesbians, crazed dogs, deviant sexuality, a Goblin soundtrack and roughly five swimming pools of blood are featured in this GRUESOME GIALLO! PLUS - Canine capers with The Chriskeeper and Schultzie the dog!

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Posted: Thursday September 12, 2013

Join your happy hosts L. Jacone, The Hair Metal Hero, Joe Anthrax and The Chriskeeper as they sling out a FRIDAY THE 13th SPECIAL. Yes, your Ipod is now CURSED since this episode was posted on the aforementioned date AND it's featuring FRIDAY THE 13th 3D!! Put on the old red and blue glasses because EYEBALLS WILL BE POPPING! Also, some listener mail is answered where the gore ghouls get to discuss their favorite genres of horror! It's so good you'll be doing handstands until it's time to split!

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Posted: Saturday July 27, 2013

Join The Chriskeeper, Joe Anthrax, The Hair Metal Hero and El Jacone as they walk you through the Oscar winning FRIDAY THE 13th PART 2 - the film that forged new trails for the disabled in horror films! The body count is upped and the formula starts to take shape! Enjoy this one while you can, because next month you're gonna have to wear the red and blue glasses!

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Posted: Saturday June 29, 2013

Luke Jaconetti, The Hair Metal Hero, Shawn Engel and Chris Honeywell jet set off to Italy for Dario Argento's classic - SUSPIRIA! This one has it all! Creepy kids - primary colors - music by Goblin - witches - gallons of blood - ballerinas and a barbed wire room! It's a feast for the eyes and the ears and loaded with plenty of dreamlike imagery to WARP YOUR BRAIN! Also, learn about Abel Ferrarra's on-set habits and stick around to the end for a musical "treat"!

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Posted: Wednesday May 15, 2013

In addition to the ongoing series of Italian horror, the Vault Crew (The Chriskeeper, El Jacone, The Hair Metal Hero and Joe Anthrax) have decided to up the output and cover some good ol' American SLASHER FILMS - The Friday The 13th series! This time they start at the beginning - the original Friday The 13th - the movie that DOES NOT PLAY FAIR!! BONUS TANGENT - MONOPOLY - THE MOVIE! Also, meet the Chriskeeper's new little pet doggie, Schultzie!

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Posted: Thursday April 18, 2013

Join Luke Jaconetti, Shawn Engel and Chris Honeywell as they discuss Dario Argento's bloody masterpiece PROFONDO ROSSO, also known as DEEP RED and many other names. It's an antipasto of bizarre puppets, psychic slashings, creepy kid music and walled-up family secrets with a side of romantic comedy! Our series on Italian horror movies has just become even more bizarre!

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Posted: Sunday March 17, 2013

Join your BLOOD SOAKED BUDDIES, Luke Jaconetti, Joe Anthrax, The Hair Metal Hero and The Chriskeeper as they take a look at the final MARIO BAVA movie in their ongoing Italio-horror series - BAY OF BLOOD or TWITCH OF THE DEATH NERVE! Could this film be the inspiration for the modern slasher film? It's one of those AWESOME MOVIES where almost everyone is a creep and almost everyone DIES! YUM,YUM,YUM!

ENJOY!

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Posted: Sunday March 3, 2013

THE VAULT IS BACK! Join the GRUE CREW - El Jacone, Joe Anthrax, The Hair Metal Hero and The Chriskeeper as they plunge into another Italian masterpiece - KILL BABY, KILL! It's the first Italian film on the Vault in GLORIOUS, BLOODY COLOR! It's all here - creepy corpse kid, a fortune teller, an isolated town and a beautiful Italian girl or two!

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Posted: Tuesday December 25, 2012

Just in time for Christmas, the Horror Vault crew - Joe Anthrax - The Hair Metal Hero - L Jacone and The Chriskeeper haul out a CHRISTMAS CLASSIC- Joe Dante's GREMLINS!Want an antidote to "It's A Wonderful Life", this is the movie for you!

PODCAST NOT FOR SALE! DO NOT FEED PODCAST AFTER MIDNIGHT! KEEP PODCAST AWAY FROM WATER!

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Posted: Saturday November 3, 2012

Are you ready for more Bava? This time join El Jacone, Joe Anthrax and the Chriskeeper as they (along with a mugger) tackle "The Girl Who Knew Too Much"! This is a Mario Bava black and white classic that pays a loving homage to Alfred Hitchcock. It's all here, murder, intrique, paranoia and a blonde! Also, somehow, they manage to talk about Arnie taking on a new Conan movie! It's party time - ITALIAN STYLE!

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Posted: Friday October 26, 2012

It's Halloween again and the Vault crew have prepared a new batch of audio horrors! This time Joe Anthrax serves up an Edgar Allen Poe classic featuring an actor with a REAL BRITISH ACCENT! Class! Luke Jaconetti weaves another story into his emerging TAPESTRY OF TERROR that will CHILL YOUR SPINE AND BOIL YOUR BRAIN! YOUR SPINE! YOUR BRAIN! The Chriskeeper offers up a story featuring Pete Hesch, zombie Schwarzenegger and a trip to the zoo! As for the Hair Metal Hero, well, all I'm gonna say is Q-TIPS, BLACK GOO and POWER DRILL and leave it at that!

NOT FOR THE KIDDIES!

BEST LISTENED TO IN A DARKENED ROOM, ALONE AND NAKED WITH HEADPHONES. YOU KNOW THE DRILL!

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Posted: Sunday September 30, 2012

Join El Jacone, The Hair Metal Hero, the Chris-Keeper and NEW Horror Vault regular Joe Anthrax as they begin their trip through the DiManzicorp motherland - ITALY! This time it's master director MARIO BAVA'S seminal BLACK SUNDAY, starring Barbara Steele - and she really NAILS this role and creates her own BRAND!! It's the perfect moody black and white classic to kick off our ITALIAGANZA OF GRUE!!

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Posted: Wednesday August 29, 2012

Now that the Summer's almost over and you've had some time to let Prometheus digest in the molecular acid of your mind, let's look back at the movies that paved the way. Join Luke Jaconetti, The Hair Metal Hero, Shawn Engel and Chris Honeywell as they share fond (mostly) memories of the Alien Quadrilogy. From scary house to all out action to distopean nihilism to who knows what, they're all here! It's the epic 20th edition of The Vault Of Startling Monster Horror Tales Of Terror!

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Posted: Sunday July 29, 2012

Join Luke Jaconetti, The Hair Metal Hero and Chris Honeywell as they whip out their FAVORITE HORROR SOUNDTRACKS! It's the BLOODY BEST of scary movie music! All your favorites are here: Williams, Goldsmith, Morricone, Herrmann, Goblin, Paul Williams and Fastway! and many, many more! Turn off the lights and CRANK IT UP!

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Posted: Wednesday May 30, 2012

The Hair Metal Hero, Luke Jaconetti and Chris Honeywell are BACK in the HORROR WHEELHOUSE for the final John Carpenter movie (for a while) - the classic HALLOWEEN! Join them as they examine the film that launched a thousand teenagers (to their graves) and scared the hell out of EVERYONE! This time, the crew poses the question - who is scarier- a man in a William Shatner mask, or a bald, twitchy guy lurking in the bushes with a gun? Also, get a sneak peek into the future of VOSMHTOT! (Pronounced: vos mh tot)

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Posted: Friday April 20, 2012

The Hair Metal Hero, Luke Jaconetti and Chris Honeywell face SPACE-HIPPIES, PHILOSOPHICAL BOMBS and a BEACH BALL WITH FEET! Yes, it's John Carpenter and Dan O'Bannon's FIRST MOVIE - DARK STAR! It's a buffed-up student film that still looks pretty spiffy for almost a zero budget! Ever wonder what country music will sound like in the future? WONDER NO MORE! You'll be humming "Winslow Arizona" for the next six months!

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Posted: Saturday February 18, 2012

This time the Hair Metal Hero, Luke Jaconetti and Chris Honeywell welcome Scott Gardner to the fold to discus John Carpenter's "STARMAN" ! Why do Robocop, Amadeus and a discontinued type of Purina dogfood show up? I swear, there are tangental connections to this neglected classic! Listen as our intrepid hosts somehow turn a discussion about the nuances of a sensitive and beautifully acted love story into a celebration of boobies and carnivorous fish attacks! A Vault Of Startling Monster Horror Tales Of Terror drinking game is also proposed. Only liver-bending alcoholics could survive even a single episode! Oh, right...STARMAN........GOOD MOVIE!

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Posted: Tuesday December 20, 2011

This month, The Hair Metal Hero, Luke Jaconetti and Chris Honeywell tackle 2001's "Ghosts Of Mars" by John Carpenter! Low budget sleeper or out and out flop? Turns out this movie is not so bad - it's got Pam Grier, that chick from Species, the bald guy who talks like a Clone Trooper and MARTIAN GHOSTS who chuck SPINNING SAWBLADES! SAWBLADES! HEADS WILL ROLL! At least until they get put on a pike, then they pretty much stop rolling...

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Posted: Friday October 28, 2011

The third time's the charm! Yes, since it's Halloween season, the Vault crew bring you an unprecedented THIRD EPISODE this month! This time your hosts have crafted THREE HOMEMADE HORROR STORIES presented for the first time here! BOW before "The Hair Metal Hero Versus The BITCHIN' VIXEN From The Sunset Strip", QUIVER IN TERROR after hearing Luke Jaconetti's "The Reflected Nightmare" and DISCRETELY SOIL YOURSELF to The Chris Keeper's "Gringo" ! Keep listening to Two True Freaks, because HALLOWEEN AIN'T OVER UNTIL THE WOLFMAN GET'S KICKED IN THE 'NARDS!

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Posted: Sunday October 23, 2011

MORE HALLOWEEN MADNESS! Yes, we're BACK AGAIN with YET ANOTHER Halloween treat - Bud Abbott And Lou Costello Meet Frankenstein, a horror comedy classic! Chris, Luke and The Hair Metal Hero have been putting in overtime this month in honor of the holiday and THEY AREN'T DONE YET! EXPECT MORE HALLOWEEN HIJINKS BEFORE OCTOBER ENDS!!

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Posted: Tuesday October 18, 2011

Join THE CHRIS KEEPER, L JACONE and THE HAIR METAL HERO as they bemoan the current state of wimpy vampire movies (you know who we're talking about) and present a REAL MAN'S VAMPIRE STORY - John Carpenter's Vampires! These vampires don't SPARKLE in sunlight, they burst into freakin' flames and fry like the evil Hellspawn that they are. They don't stalk and romance teenage girls, they BISECT AND CONSUME FULL-GROWN HOOKERS LIKE CORN-DOGS. THOSE are VAMPIRES, my friend. Got wood yet?

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Posted: Thursday September 1, 2011

Join THE CHRIS KEEPER, L JACONE and THE HAIR METAL HERO as they have a go at John Carpenter's critical and financial flop - his remake of Village Of The Damned! Is it really that terrible? How bad can it be if it has Mark Hamill and Christopher Reeve in it? Listen and find out! Also, visits from Scandanavian Death Metal band Burzum, The Moody Blues, Willie Nelson, I-Ron Butterfly and THE DREADED MOLESTER-BOT! Also, Luke wins the First Concert contest.

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Posted: Saturday July 16, 2011

Join THE CHRIS KEEPER, L JACONE and THE HAIR METAL HERO as they dissect John Carpenter's prototype early film, ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13! It's Rio Bravo meets Night Of The Living Dead in this cops under siege classic! Anyone got a smoke?

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Posted: Tuesday June 7, 2011

IT'S A DYSTOPIA DOUBLE FEATURE! Join The Chris-Keeper and L Jacone as they talk about Escape From New York and it's sequel Escape From LA! It's a feast of action, one-liners and character actors! Anyone got a smoke?

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Posted: Saturday March 26, 2011

This month, Luke, The Hair-Metal Hero, and the Chris-Keeper hop aboard the Pork Chop Express and head over to Little China to "stir the pot"! This movie has a little bit of every flavor thrown into a big, old WOK OF FUN! Catchphrases? Did someone say "catchphrases"? This is the movie that practically invented them! And how does Alice Cooper figure into all of this?! Sit back, put your headphones on and if you pray your cards light, you may rive to tere about it!

Feedback for this show can be sent to: freakvault@gmail.com

Two True Freaks! is a proud member of BOTH the Comics Podcast Network (http://www.comicspodcasts.com/) and the League of Comic Book Podcasts (http://www.comicbooknoise.com/league/)!!

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Posted: Saturday February 19, 2011

YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES - LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST, OR EAT THIS GARBAGE CAN!

In this latest installment of our John Carpenter retrospective we take a look through a Hoffman Lens at THEY LIVE. Of course, this movie is a MASTERPIECE! Join L Jacone, The Hair Metal Hero, The Chris-Keeper and special guest Mike Cross as they tangent into wrestling, chew bubblegum AND kick ass. "Classy" Freddy Blassie even makes an appearance! Stick around after the credits for a little extra "somethin'-somethin'"! THE PODCAST WORLD IS A BITCH - AND IT'S BACK IN HEAT!

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Two True Freaks! is a proud member of BOTH the Comics Podcast Network (http://www.comicspodcasts.com/) and the League of Comic Book Podcasts (http://www.comicbooknoise.com/league/)!!

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Posted: Friday January 14, 2011

In this latest installment of our John Carpenter retrospective we take a look at The Fog, Carpenter's follow-up to Halloween. This is a fun one for Chris, since he has never seen it before. This film has it all - murderous lepers, stories around a campfire, Jamie Lee Curtis, Adrianne Barbeau, Janet Leigh, John Houseman, a drunken Hal Holbrook, a creepy lighthouse, haunted coins, revenge and did I mention Jamie Lee Curtis and Adrianne Barbeau?

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Two True Freaks! is a proud member of BOTH the Comics Podcast Network (http://www.comicspodcasts.com/) and the League of Comic Book Podcasts (http://www.comicbooknoise.com/league/)!!

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Posted: Thursday December 9, 2010

In this installment of VOSMHTOT The Chris-Keeper, Hair Metal Hero and L. Jacone take up the topic of everyone's favorite pissed off Plymouth Fury - CHRISTINE! It's a hellish collaboration between horror masters John Carpenter and Stephen King! It's 50's nostalgia in an 80's movie set in the 70's! So buckle up, shitters, it's going to be a BUMPY RIDE!

Feedback for this show can be sent to: freakvault@gmail.com

Two True Freaks! is a proud member of BOTH the Comics Podcast Network (http://www.comicspodcasts.com/) and the League of Comic Book Podcasts (http://www.comicbooknoise.com/league/)!!

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Posted: Friday November 12, 2010

In this volume of VOSMHTOT The Chris-Keeper and L. Jacone crack open John Carpenter's "In The Mouth Of Madness" where the horror master takes a few pages from his favorite anguished authors! This completes the circle of Carpenter's APOCALYPSE TRILOGY, thus opening the dimensional gate for the OLD ONES. "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!" YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN!

Feedback for this show can be sent to: freakvault@gmail.com

Two True Freaks! is a proud member of BOTH the Comics Podcast Network (http://www.comicspodcasts.com/) and the League of Comic Book Podcasts (http://www.comicbooknoise.com/league/)!!

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Posted: Friday October 22, 2010

In a SPECIAL HALLOWEEN EPISODE your intrepid horror hosts read you THREE HALLOWEEN TALES OF TERROR! First off, Chris reads "The Open Window" by Saki, one of his favorite short stories of all time. Next up, we have a completely ORIGINAL OFFERING! "Spiders" written and read by Chris Tyler, our own Hair Metal Hero! Finally, Luke Jaconetti reads the H.P. Lovecraft masterpiece, "Pickman's Model"! Props to Luke for suggesting the idea for this episode! So turn out the lights, lock the door, put on your headphones and "enjoy"!

Feedback for this show can be sent to: freakvault@gmail.com

Two True Freaks! is a proud member of BOTH the Comics Podcast Network (http://www.comicspodcasts.com/) and the League of Comic Book Podcasts (http://www.comicbooknoise.com/league/)!!

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Posted: Wednesday October 6, 2010

WELCOME, MONSTER MONGERS! Welcome to the SECOND GRUE-GORGED episode of The Vault Of Startling Monster Horror Tales Of Terror! This month, myself, the CHRIS-KEEPER am joined by Chris Tyler (the HAIR METAL HERO) and Luke Jaconetti (LJacone) as we continue our retrospective of MASTER FILMMAKER John Carpenter with a double feature of the 1951 Howard Hawks produced "The Thing From Another World" and the 1982 Carpenter remake, "The Thing". You WILL get WET on this ride!!

Feedback for this show can be sent to: freakvault@gmail.com

Two True Freaks! is a proud member of BOTH the Comics Podcast Network (http://www.comicspodcasts.com/) and the League of Comic Book Podcasts (http://www.comicbooknoise.com/league/)!!

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Posted: Wednesday September 8, 2010

WELCOME, FEAR FREAKS! Two True Freaks is proud to launch their new horror show, The Vault Of Startling Monster Horror Tales Of Terror! This month, myself, the CHRIS-KEEPER am joined by Chris Tyler (the HAIR METAL HERO) and Luke Jaconetti (LJacone) as we begin our retrospective of GRUE-MONGER John Carpenter by taking a bite out of one of his more under-appreciated films, Prince Of Darkness! Satan in a bottle, Donald Pleasance, Alice Cooper and a zillion roaches and grubs - HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY GO WRONG?!

Feedback for this show can be sent to: freakvault@gmail.com

Two True Freaks! is a proud member of BOTH the Comics Podcast Network (http://www.comicspodcasts.com/) and the League of Comic Book Podcasts (http://www.comicbooknoise.com/league/)!!

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